


Osiris

by urdnot_wrekt



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Destroy Ending, F/F, Post-Reaper War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-05 00:47:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11002458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urdnot_wrekt/pseuds/urdnot_wrekt
Summary: "If anyone in the entire galaxy deserved to enjoy this victory, it was Shepard. And I know that she also deserves to finally have peace, but... for as long as I knew her, the only peace she ever wanted for herself was with you."





	1. Chapter 1

Everything felt so familiar, and yet nothing was even remotely the same.

Spade in hand, ankle deep in soft ground, surrounded on all sides by relics of civilizations long past; there had once been a time when her only concept of safety was wrapped tightly up in the fabric of this very circumstance. There had been a time when her greatest dreams involved the unearthing of a momentous new artifact that would define the understanding of Prothean culture and technology for generations to come, and her name, Dr. Liara T’Soni, being heralded as the one responsible for it all. She had, for many years, believed that she thrived in isolation, and that there was nowhere in the galaxy she would rather be than in the middle of a promising dig site.

That had all changed when she met _her_.

Suddenly, isolation had lost its appeal. Safety became the warmth of her arms, and the intensity of the light in her eyes. Dreams carried them away to a future together that they both knew they would likely never see.

And with her gone, _again_ , clinging to the familiar was the only way Liara could keep her head above water.

So, she went where she was needed. She went where she was _wanted_.

“Did you find anything good today, Liara? I’d give anything for a glimpse at an ancient quarian diary.”

Tali plopped herself down on the ground next to Liara and dug the toes of her boots into the shifting sand beneath them. Her brow furrowed into a look of mock concentration as she mused,

“I wonder what they would have gossiped about?”

Liara responded with a distracted smile, absently scooping up a handful of sand and allowing it to trickle slowly between her fingers. As the last few grains fell to the ground, she lifted her gaze to the distant skyline and watched the bright lights begin their descent over the horizon. She closed her eyes, felt the warmth against her tired eyelids, took a deep breath. She thought of the sunsets she would never get to watch with Shepard.

“I miss her, too,” Tali said quietly.

Silence filled the space between them for a few minutes, and they watched together as the sun continued to slowly disappear from the sky. Finally, her gaze still fixed on the setting sun, Liara spoke.

“I think she’d be very proud of what you’ve done here, Tali. What you’re _doing_ here.”

“I hope she would be,” Tali replied.

Liara turned to look at her friend and reached over to give her hand a gentle squeeze.

When Tali had first asked her to be a part of the archaeological teams excavating sites on Rannoch, nearly eight months ago to the day, Liara had refused. Shepard was gone, Thessia had been devastated by the reapers, and Liara chose to distract herself by reestablishing her contacts as the Shadow Broker and distributing her resources to assist with rebuilding the Mass Relays. She had attempted to relocate her operations hub from her old room on the Normandy to a rented shuttle, but Joker convinced her otherwise. After all, he had reasoned, if Liara was still using the Normandy, it would give him an excuse to fly her. So, she had agreed to stay on board.

Two months later, construction on the Relays had reached completion, Liara had regained her network of agents as the Shadow Broker, and Tali called for her help once again. The quarians were looking for skilled archaeologists to help them understand how life on Rannoch used to be, so that their efforts to rebuild the planet could be reminiscent of the culture they had left behind so many years ago. Although she had desperately wanted to assist in the rebuilding of her own homeworld, Liara concluded after careful consideration that her skills would be of far more use on Rannoch. So, she went.

And she had been right; her discoveries over the past few months had started giving tangible shape to some of the information about the quarians that had previously only existed in the abstract. Pieces of day to day living that had not survived the quarians mass exodus from the homeworld now returned, little by little, with each new artifact rescued by one of the archaeological teams. The result was a rush of fresh excitement within the ranks of quarian architects and politicians as they structured their newly thriving communities with the work of their ancestors in mind.

It was a beautiful process to watch, and one that Liara would have given anything to share with Shepard.

The one who had made it all possible.

Liara turned once more to the horizon as the sun finally winked out into darkness, then sighed and pushed herself to her feet. Tali did the same, and the two began walking silently back toward the small settlement they temporarily called home; Tali, to an impressive stone building reserved for the admirals, and Liara, to the Normandy. After she’d said goodnight to Tali and boarded the ship, she was surprised to find that Joker was not at the helm. When his voice came over the ships intercom, she jumped in such alarm that she bit her lip and nearly stumbled over her own two feet.

“In the lounge, Liara! And…I’m sure I probably just scared the shit out of you. So… sorry about that!”

She took a deep breath to slow her racing heart, let out a nervous burst of laughter, and headed for the elevator. On the slow descent to the crew deck, she tried to guess who their apparent guest was. Garrus had visited shortly over a week ago, so it more than likely wasn’t him. Wrex and Grunt were too busy making babies to do more than check in for a semi-regular vidcall, so they were both probably out, too. Maybe Ashley? Or Jack? It had been almost two months since she’d seen either of them, but they came when they could. And Kasumi… she wouldn’t have allowed Joker the pleasure of scaring Liara half to death. She’d have cloaked and done it herself.

Of course, Liara’s guesses were wrong on all accounts. She would not even have considered the person sitting in front of her, as no one had seen or heard anything from her in months. Even the Shadow Broker’s agents were unable to keep tabs on her, other than to confirm that she was alive and well.

“Hello, Liara,” Miranda said, attempting a smile and failing quite miserably.

Joker raised his eyebrows, his discomfort obvious and immediate, and tossed one final shot of purple liquor into his mouth before getting to his feet.

“Well, I’m just gonna go fly the ship or… something.”

“Joker,” Miranda chuckled, “we’re still on the ground.”

 “Not for long,” he shot back with a wink.

He gave Liara a pat on the shoulder on his way out of the room, and when the door closed behind him, she found herself alone with Miranda. The situation immediately conjured up a number of unpleasant memories and equally unpleasant emotions that she immediately pushed to the side, attempting to prepare herself to deal with whatever was causing the distress written explicitly across Miranda’s features. The fact that she had shown up out of the blue after eight months of near radio silence did nothing to calm Liara’s nerves or slow her steadily increasing heartrate.

After a moment of hearing only the sound of her own pulse as it pounded away within her ears, she decided she needed to break the silence before it drove her to panic.

“It’s good to see you,” she said, sincerely.

This time, Miranda was able to deliver a genuine smile, albeit an exhausted one.

“It’s good to see you, too.”

“I expect there’s a reason for your visit?” Liara asked. And then quickly added, “Not that you’re in any way unwelcome. I only meant-”

“No, no. You’re right,” Miranda interrupted. “I _am_ here for a reason.”

She stood from the chair she had been sitting in and began to pace slowly back and forth across the room. The sight made Liara all the more anxious; she wasn’t used to seeing Miranda behave with anything less than absolute composure. For something to have her this shaken, there must have been a serious problem. And Liara was willing to bet it had something to do with why Miranda had been so impossible to contact since the end of the Reaper War.

“I’ve… done something, Liara. And I’m not sorry that I’ve done it, but I’m afraid of what your reaction might be when I tell you.”

There was something incredibly familiar in the way Miranda was looking at her. It triggered a memory before she could block it out, of the very first conversation that she’d ever had with Miranda, three years ago. A conversation that had begun with that same earnest expression, and had ended with…

The realization slammed into every one of her senses at once, her eyes flooding with tears even before Miranda confirmed what she already knew.

Across the room, she watched the tension drop from Miranda’s shoulders, and a cautious expression of joy spread across her face.

“Yeah,” Miranda whispered.

_“I brought her back.”_


	2. Chapter 2

It was hard to think, or even breathe, with Miranda’s eyes boring their way through her chest and into the furiously beating heart within. Suddenly, the lights in the room were too bright. The normally quiet hum of the ship was a thunderous echo. Miranda’s attentive stare seemed to crush her, strangle her, engulf her, in the midst of an emotion that she had no name for.

Shepard. Alive again.

Liara had dreamed of hearing those words every night since first learning that Shepard hadn’t made it off of the Citadel before it had erupted into a fiery explosion in the skies above the ravaged battlefields of Earth. The devastation was so complete that debris had continued to rain down for days after the reapers had fallen, and search teams had spent weeks isolating the remaining fragments of the once-great hub of galactic community as they drifted aimlessly through space. Liara hadn’t been willing to believe the reports until she was taken to see the damage for herself; once she had, she’d wished she could erase the images from her mind forever.

They had found the remains of countless soldiers and civilians among the wreckage, and technology had confirmed that Shepard was among them. But she had not been allowed to see her. Admiral Hackett himself had been the one to tell her that what his teams had found bore no resemblance to the woman they had known. He had told her that Shepard would not have wanted anyone, especially Liara, to remember anything less than the living, breathing, beautifully imperfect person that she was. What was left of her, he had told her… it would overshadow Liara’s memory of the real Shepard forever. And as much as it had devastated her, she knew that he was right.

So, Liara had walked away from the smoldering remains and kept her memories of Shepard, who she _really_ was, for herself. She had protected those memories, replaying them over and over so that she would never even have the chance to forget them, and all the while holding onto the impractical, foolish hope that they would one day have the opportunity to make new memories once again.

Now, she was being given that chance.

It should have been the purest form of joy that she had ever experienced. Bordering on euphoric, even. Most people, she knew, would feel only sweeping, blissful gratitude in her position. Relief and elation, that the one they’d lost was finally coming back to them.

Yet, she felt something else. Something so heavy, so powerful, that it seemed to have taken hostage the joy that she knew she felt somewhere within. She could catch only fleeting glimpses of happiness before some other, darker emotion drowned out its light.

For a moment, looking at Miranda, she began to think that emotion was anger. The heat rising in her chest provided evidence for her theory, and she felt the muscles in her face begin to contract in preparation for the words that needed to explode from her lips. But before she could utter even a single word, a subtle change in Miranda’s posture reminded her of the cold, calculated version of this woman who had brought Shepard back once before, and suddenly Liara’s mask of anger was ripped away to reveal the emotion hiding so desperately underneath.

_Fear_.

“Why?” Liara whispered, closing her eyes and steeling herself for the answer to her question.

“Why… did I do it?” Miranda clarified slowly.

Liara nodded, opening her eyes again to note the apparent confusion on Miranda’s face. It was as if this was a question so irrelevant, so unexpected, that Miranda hadn’t even been bothered to devise an answer for it ahead of time, when for Liara, it was the most important question in the world. In what way was Shepard about to be used this time? What more would she be asked to give? For whom would she be asked, once again, to die?

“Yes, _why_?” Liara repeated, hearing the icy edge to her question but finding no way to stop herself. “Why did you bring her back again, Miranda? What do you _want_ from her?”

Surprisingly, the shock on Miranda’s face appeared to be genuine.

“I… don’t want _anything_ from her, Liara.”

“Then who does?” Liara countered, her voice rising and her body beginning to tense. “Who needed her brought back so that they can use her again? So they can _take_ from her? _Again_?” Her eyes burned, tears prickling at the edges and threatening to spill out, but she didn’t care. Her fear had once again cloaked itself in anger, and there was nowhere for it to go but outward. “She fucking _died_ , Miranda! _Twice_. For _them_. And she did it without a complaint, because that’s who she was. She gave _everything_ she had to give, and you… _you_ … Hasn’t she given _enough_? _When_ will it be _enough_?”

Hot tears continued to trail their way down Liara’s cheeks as her anger quickly deflated. She barely had time to recognize what was taking its place before her lungs began to heave, and sobs began to burst out of her in lurching gasps. She covered her face with her hands, wiping uselessly at the steady streams that poured from her eyes.

When she felt Miranda’s arms around her shoulders, she didn’t flinch away. And when she felt Miranda’s own tears beginning to drip onto her skin, she didn’t feel surprised; whatever Miranda’s motives for bringing Shepard back, Liara didn’t doubt for a second that the loss she had felt in Shepard’s death was genuine. Liara allowed herself to take what comfort she could from that realization.

Miranda waited for Liara’s breathing to begin returning to normal before she finally pulled away after a few minutes, wiped the remaining tears from her own eyes, and took a seat. She watched in silence as Liara did the same.

“I did it for her,” Miranda said quietly, when Liara had once again taken the seat next to her. “I did it for Shepard. No one else.”

A wrinkle appeared against the blue skin of Liara’s brow, and Miranda easily anticipated the question meant to follow it. She shrugged. Sighed. Stared at the floor for a few seconds before saying,

“I guess I don’t really _know_ why. Because the truth is… you’re right. I have watched as person after person took things from Shepard, _demanded_ from her… and I’ve been complicit in it. She gave her life protecting us all, and I brought her back to fight the collectors under the explicit assumption that she’d be doing it all over again.”

“You weren’t alone in that,” Liara reminded her, her voice barely above a whisper.

“And it chewed you up and spit you back out, feeling like you were responsible for what happened to her back then. Because you saw even then what I refused to see.”

“She had earned her peace. And then we’d stolen it from her.”

An almost imperceptible nod from Miranda confirmed Liara’s statement.

“It’s why I couldn’t tell you, or anyone outside of the project, what I was doing. I was willing to risk the two of you hating me for making the choice to bring her back, but… I was afraid you’d hate yourself all over again if I let you be part of it, like I did then. I didn’t want that. And I _knew_ Shepard wouldn’t want that.”

“Then _why_? If you were so worried that we would hate you for it, why do it at all?”

“Because I _owed_ it to her. Because I knew that I _could_. Because…”

Miranda stopped herself, closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. When she opened her eyes again, she fixed them on Liara’s and reached out to take her hand.

“If anyone in the galaxy deserved to enjoy this victory, it was Shepard,” she said, smiling in a brief reminiscence of the hero that had been so much more. “And I know that she also deserves to finally have peace, but… for as long as I knew her, the only peace she ever wanted for herself was with you.”

Liara began to feel tears pricking at the corners of her eyes again, and quickly blinked them away. She wanted to believe it, to believe that Miranda was really giving them a chance to have the future that they’d always talked about. She wanted to believe that Miranda had no ulterior motives whatsoever in bringing Shepard back. That it really had all been out of love, and respect, for the woman who had saved them both in more ways than they would ever know how to admit.

But she wasn’t sure. How _could_ she be?

“I haven’t told anyone, outside of the other scientists working on the project,” Miranda continued. “And I don’t plan to. I want it to be Shepard’s choice. And yours. Whether you tell no one, or you tell everyone, or you only tell your friends… I want Shepard to know that her life belongs to her now. She’s had enough taken from her. I thought it was about time she got something back.”

It didn’t erase the twisting uncertainty that sat coiled within her, ready to strike. But it softened the fear, and the anger it hid behind, enough to finally let some of the light shine through from underneath. The muted beginnings of joy finally unfolding, conjuring up images of the future that may finally be within reach once again.

This time, the warmth that spread through her body was not the alarming heat of anger. It was the comforting blaze of anticipation, and, finally, of happiness.

_Shepard is alive._

“Oh, goddess,” Liara murmured.

She turned her gaze once more to Miranda, eyes wide and shimmering with excitement. Miranda could see the edges of her mouth beginning to curl upwards into a hesitant smile, and held her breath as Liara asked one final question.

“When can I see her?”

The answer was preceded by a beaming grin.

“How about now?”


	3. Chapter 3

“You know, Miranda, I was actually joking when I said I was going to take the ship for a midnight spin. Not that it’s something I’m necessarily opposed to, but it would be nice if one of you two could at least tell me _where the hell we’re going_.”

Joker could hear two sets of footsteps approaching from behind his seat at the helm, but he didn’t bother looking away from the controls as he furiously worked to prep the Normandy for launch. Truth be told, he was actually looking forward to getting back out into the stars again. He just didn’t particularly appreciate being kept in the dark.

“I sent the coordinates to the ship’s nav system, and there’s only one place to dock when you get there. That’s all I can tell you right now, Joker,” Miranda responded.

“Really? Are you sure? No special instructions? You don’t want me to take any shortcuts? Or turn the meter off at red lights? Drop you at the curb while I find parking?”

Liara couldn’t help smiling a little at the return of Joker’s refreshingly sarcastic sense of humor. She did feel a bit guilty about keeping him out of the loop, but not guilty enough to clue him in just yet to what she and Miranda were really up to. That was going to be left to Shepard, to make the decisions of who to tell and when to tell them. Joker would simply have to wait until that decision was made.

Nevertheless, Liara stepped up next to Joker’s chair and gently nudged his shoulder with her hip. When he finally looked up at her, she rolled her eyes a little and gave him an appreciative smile, to which Joker responded with a look of pointed resignation and an overly dramatic sigh.

“Alright, _fine_ , geez. I guess I’ll play the part of chauffeur for the night,” he huffed, quickly adding, “But _only_ because I love flying my ship more than I hate being left out of secrets.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Miranda chuckled.

She turned to leave the bridge, and Liara followed suit after giving Joker’s shoulder a light squeeze in thanks. As they walked away, Liara could just barely hear Joker muttering something to himself about how ‘it wouldn’t be so bad’ and ‘would definitely make more money’, which was immediately followed by him shouting after them,

“Hey, I’d better be getting a good tip for this! Maybe some credits, some liquor, a nice soft pillow for my butt. I can be flexible!”

“Get us there with some haste and I may consider it,” Miranda called back without missing a beat.

“You got it!”

Miranda threw a wink in Liara’s direction as they reached the elevator and called it up to their floor, preparing to head back downstairs to settle in for the duration of their trip. Even with the relays back up and running, it would still take them a few hours to reach their destination in the Horsehead Nebula, and they each thought it would be a good idea to try to get a little bit of sleep on the way. Liara knew this would likely result in her spending a few hours staring at the ceiling and _wishing_ she could fall asleep, but she was willing to give it a try nonetheless. After all, she didn’t expect she’d be much interested in sleep once they arrived at Miranda’s research facility.

When the elevator hit the ground on the crew deck and the two ladies had parted ways for the night, Liara headed to her quarters and changed out of her work clothes. She slid silently in between the cool satin sheets of her bed, pulled the covers up to her chest, and took a deep breath. In the darkness, the only sound was the quiet hum of the Normandy’s engine. The only light came from the glint of stars passing by outside her window.

She rolled over onto her side and stared out into the mesmerizing expanse of the galaxy. It was a sight that Shepard had never been able to get enough of; Liara couldn’t count how many times she had woken up to find Shepard leaning up against that same window with a cup of coffee in one hand and her eyes fixed intently on the distant stars. She had been fascinated by space, in love with the possibilities that it represented, even with the threat of the reapers growing stronger by the day. In those moments, Liara thought, it would have been impossible not to love her.

Liara closed her eyes and pictured Shepard there, at the window, sipping her coffee and dreaming of a future when she would be untethered by the responsibilities that had been hoisted onto her shoulders. She could see Shepard turning around to look at her with that brilliant smile, those sparkling green eyes focused on her with an intensity that warmed like fire and crackled like electricity. Shepard would come back to bed with her, as she always did, tangling their bodies together until the future involved no one but the two of them, and nothing but the love they shared for each other.

It was almost as if Liara could feel those arms around her now, guiding her back to the dreams that had been forgotten for so long.

And in Shepard’s arms, as always, Liara slept peacefully.

***

They docked at the research station nearly four hours later, with an exhausted Joker finally retiring to his own quarters for some rest while Liara and Miranda prepared to go ashore.

“Too tired for even one little snarky comment?” Miranda teased as the pilot trudged off the deck.

“Hnngg,” Joker groaned in response. “Raincheck.”

Miranda chuckled quietly to herself while she and Liara stepped into the airlock, and when the doors opened up into the hangar bay of the facility, she began to lead the way through several pristine white hallways. Liara was noticeably quiet during this process, and the expression on her face conveyed a complicated mixture of emotions that Miranda didn’t feel equipped to unpack just yet. She thought it might be better to allow Liara to work through those emotions organically, perhaps with the assistance of Shepard.

With this plan in mind, Miranda continued leading Liara through the nearly empty hallways of the research facility, pausing only to exchange meaningful glances with the few scientists they passed on their way. Liara took notice of these exchanges, but her thoughts were elsewhere. Somewhere in this building, Shepard was waiting for her. Each step drew her closer and closer to the moment she’d dreamed of every day for the past eight months. The very thought of it made her heart race.

They stopped outside of a bulky metal door, secured with a biometric scanner and a passcode entered via a nearby terminal. As Miranda placed her hand onto the terminal and passed them through the security checkpoint, Liara could feel something sparking in her that she hadn’t felt since the day she had been separated from Shepard. She could feel _Shepard_ , feel her consciousness tugging in a way that would have gone unnoticed if not for the fact that Liara had hungered desperately for that very sensation in every moment she had spent without Shepard.

She rushed into the next room, momentarily overwhelmed by the sheer size of the laboratory and the number of researchers calmly plodding away at their stations. Calmly going about their business as if the most important person in the galaxy wasn’t _right here_ , in this very facility, waiting somewhere for her. Miranda gently took her by the elbow and pointed off to the right, where another door appeared to lead into a smaller observation room, and Liara didn’t wait for any further instruction before her feet were carrying her towards that door, her biotics tingling with anticipation as the connection she felt grew stronger and stronger with every step.

The door opened before she reached it, her momentum carrying her over the threshold and into what appeared to be a makeshift hospital room. It took less than a second for her eyes to land on the bed in the center of the room, and she managed to stumble those final few steps before her legs buckled out from under her and sent her to her knees. Tears began to fall, slowly at first, and then faster as she grabbed the side of the bed and pulled herself up far enough to bury her face into Shepard’s shoulder, her hand blindly seeking Shepard’s to hold as she attempted to catch her breath.

Her other hand found a place to rest in the center of Shepard’s chest, gently rising and falling with each steady breath that entered and exited her lungs. The rhythm was soothing, reassuring.

Shepard was alive, and she was right here.

She felt Miranda’s presence behind her and managed to take a few deep breaths before pulling back enough to take in the entirety of the sight before her. Shepard looked as though she was engaged in the most peaceful sleep imaginable, her lips almost appearing to be turned up into a faint smile. Her hair was cropped short, her skin covered with scars in various stages of healing, and a horde of whirring machines were attached to access points on several visible areas of her body. Liara could also see where a number of wires disappeared discretely underneath the sterile white of Shepard’s hospital gown.

Her hand still cradled Shepard’s own as her eyes trailed down the entirety of the body in front of her, and she tenderly caressed the soft, new skin of Shepard’s fingers almost absent-mindedly. She had nearly forgotten that Miranda was in the room when she suddenly spoke.

“She’s ready for us to wake her,” Miranda explained quietly. “She’s been ready for a few days now, but I wanted to wait for you. I thought having you here might make it easier on her.”

Liara glanced back across the visible scarring on Shepard’s body, suggesting that she wasn’t yet fully healed. Liara’s brow furrowed with concern as she turned to ask Miranda,

“Is she well enough? I can wait as long as necessary for her to be fully recovered.”

Miranda shook her head and took a few steps to stand next to her at the edge of Shepard’s bed. She appeared to conduct her own brief visual scan of the commander before looking back to Liara with a smile.

“I think she’ll do just fine. These scars should finish healing nicely on their own. They actually seem to be a bit more subtle even than the last time, wouldn’t you agree?”

Liara shook her head, turning her full attention back to Shepard. She reached up to brush the tips of her fingers against the scars on Shepard’s cheek, and those faintly visible at the base of her neck. It was jarring for her to see Shepard looking like this, and the truth was that she had no base of comparison to judge against the last time.

“I didn’t know the scarring was this bad before,” she answered, more than a tinge of regret coloring her tone. “They were healed by the time Shepard reached Illium.”

“Ah… I suppose you’re right about that. They healed up in no time at all, then.”

Another reassuring smile from Miranda did nothing to shore up the tide of guilt that had been stirred up by the memory of the last time Shepard had been brought back from death, but Liara pushed those feelings aside and allowed herself to take Miranda at her word. If she said Shepard was ready, then she must be.

“Shall we wake her?” Miranda whispered.

Liara took a deep breath and gave her head a resolute nod, which Miranda turned to mirror for someone in the doorway. In an instant, half a dozen scientists poured into the room and began methodically setting up additional technology to monitor Shepard’s vital signs during the transitional state, as well as clearing the area directly surrounding Shepard’s bed. A young turian stopped next to Miranda and reached her hand across for Liara.

“It’s an honor to finally meet you, Dr. T’soni,” she said kindly. “I’m Dr. Etyra Hallevelt, in charge of clinical operations for Project Osiris.”

“Dr. Hallevelt is a very modest genius,” Miranda clarified with a chuckle as Liara shook the doctor’s hand. “She’s my second-in-command for anything related to Project Osiris, and she will be in charge of all medical concerns that may arise once Shepard is conscious.”

“I want to warn you that Commander Shepard will likely be extremely disoriented when she regains consciousness,” the doctor calmly informed her. “It’s alright with me if you remain bedside during the process, just be aware that you may need to step out of the room if it appears as though the commander poses a risk of injuring herself or anyone else. We’ll need to administer a sedative in that case, and it may not be the most pleasant experience for you to witness.”

Liara swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded her understanding.

“Good,” Dr. Hallevelt said with a smile. “In that case, why don’t you go ahead and pull up a chair. We’ll bring her back slowly, so that we can monitor her vitals and try to avoid startling her awake. It may be a little while before she’s responsive, but you can sit with her while we work.”

Miranda flung a hand out behind her and used her biotics to pull a chair over for Liara to sit in, which she did with an appreciative smile. And with Shepard’s hand clasped reverently between her own, the only thing left for Liara to do was wait.

***

At first, she waited with her eyes fixed intently on Shepard’s face, watching for even the slightest sign of movement. After almost an hour had passed with nothing noteworthy, she began observing the scientists as they performed their individually assigned tasks around the room. The one monitoring Shepard’s heartrate was clearly giddy with excitement, while the one titrating Shepard’s medicinal cocktail maintained an entirely focused, professional exterior. Liara overheard several conversations about reducing this or that med to increase perceptual awareness, increasing another med to stabilize Shepard’s racing heartbeat; most of it was communicated in quick bursts of information that were more or less meaningless to an archaeologist. Dr. Hallevelt tried to check in with her every so often to discuss their progress, as did Miranda, who had once again adopted her role as Project Leader and was now busily darting in and out of the room to oversee all facets of the procedure.

Amidst all the controlled chaos, she almost missed it. She wasn’t even sure that she had really seen anything at all until it happened a second time, and then a third. An erratic pattern in Shepard’s breathing that sounded as though she was half-gasping for air.

“Take her off the ventilator!” Dr. Hallevelt called across the room.

It was done within seconds, and every eye in the room was on Shepard’s chest, watching it rise and fall at irregular intervals as the still-unconscious commander struggled to regain control of her lungs.

“Watch her heart,” Miranda cautioned. “I don’t like the look of those numbers.”

Liara looked over to the heart monitor and caught sight of the rapidly rising rates displayed on-screen. Coupled with Shepard’s anxious gasps for air, Liara began to feel her own heartrate skyrocketing as worry flooded into her veins. This couldn’t be happening. Not after everything.

_Don’t you_ dare _leave me again,_ she pleaded silently, her eyes beginning to sting _._

“Get the sedative ready,” Miranda’s voice ordered somewhere behind her.

Only Liara didn’t really hear her. Every bit of her focus had shifted to her fingers, where Shepard’s grip now held her hand so tightly that she couldn’t have pulled it away if she had tried.

“Miranda-” she started to call back to her.

And then suddenly Shepard was awake all at once, her eyes racing and her grip crushing Liara’s fingers like a vise. She was sitting up completely by the time anyone else in the room even knew she was conscious, her other arm flung wildly up in front of her face, as if to protect her from something. The move happened so quickly and so violently that it tore open a scar on her wrist. Blood trickled out of the open wound, dripping down her arm and onto the bedsheets. The only splash of color amidst a sea of white sterility.

A strangled cry tore from Shepard’s throat with a sound so raw and haunting that it appeared to stun the room into motionless silence for a fraction of a second before Liara reached out with her free hand to gently pull Shepard’s arm away from her face, forcing her to meet Liara’s gaze. She could see the terror clouding Shepard’s eyes flicker for a moment, and that was all the reassurance Liara needed to reach out to her in the only other way she knew how.

She eased her way into their connection, but she was unprepared for the immensity of Shepard’s terror and the blinding pain that radiated through their shared experience. The shock of it caused her to gasp as she felt her heart and breathing increase to match the frantic pattern of Shepard’s. For a moment, she thought she would be overcome by it all, swallowed whole by the tumultuous uncertainty that Shepard appeared to be trapped in.

But their connection appeared to work the opposite way, as well. While she fought through to Shepard, she could feel Shepard fighting her way back through to her. Soon, the crushing grip on her fingers had eased, and the intensity behind Shepard’s eyes appeared to fade. In its place, a single tear slid out of the corner of Shepard’s eye and trailed its way down her cheek, dripping from her jaw onto the tangled sheets below. Then, as her eyes began to well and her face began to betray the overwhelming emotion within her, Shepard lifted her arms off of the bed and reached out for Liara.

Liara could feel the salty tears cascading across her skin as Shepard buried her face in her neck and cried in heaving sobs against her. Shepard’s fingertips pressed into Liara’s shoulder blades in an embrace so tight it felt as though she believed her very survival depended on it. Liara tried to calm herself to encourage the same from Shepard, but she could feel tears of her own begin to make their way down her face once again, and she had nothing left to fight them with. She devoted all of her energy to Shepard, gently rubbing her back and whispering to her in words that she wasn’t even consciously aware of speaking. The only thing that mattered was right here, in her arms. Finally.

After a time, Shepard’s breathing began to normalize. Her heart rate returned to a healthy, steady pace. Her muscles relaxed into Liara with an exhaustion so complete it was almost shocking that she didn’t lose consciousness again altogether.

She lifted her head just enough to rest her forehead against Liara’s, closed her eyes, and breathed in the air around her. And she started to smile.

Liara placed a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose and let a smile of her own begin to take shape on her lips. Then she waited for her to open her eyes again, their gazes locked on one another, and quietly whispered,

“Welcome home, Shepard.”


	4. Chapter 4

Her finger twitched against the trigger as she willed herself to put one foot in front of the other. The pain of each step was excruciating, but she was too close, and she’d come too far, to let her own discomfort become anything more than a blurred aspect of the periphery. There were so many people counting on her. _So many_. And it would all be over soon, if she could just… make it… a few more…

She squeezed the trigger, firing off the first shot, and even the minimal effort exerted by the muscles in her forearms sent a shockwave of pain throughout the rest of her body. She gritted her teeth and fired again. And again. And with the fourth shot, flames began to flicker to life within the confines of the power conduit.

It was nearly time.

She closed her eyes, and she could see them. The ones who had given their lives for this cause. Anderson. Thane. Legion. Mordin. Kaiden. Before she could stop herself, an image of her own weary face joined the crowd; a fate that she had, on some level, always known would be waiting for her in the end.

She took a deep breath and pulled the trigger one final time. The explosion that followed sent a scorching heat searing its way across every inch of her skin as the world around her erupted and engulfed her, its impact felt as a crushing blow against her bones. Her consciousness wavered, and a new face burned its way into her mind.

Liara smiled at her, the way she did when they were alone. The way she did when saying ‘I love you’ couldn’t do her feelings justice. The smile that could banish even the darkest of nightmares back to the depths and bring her enough peace to find sleep once again.

A trail of hot liquid slid down her face, and she couldn’t be sure if it was blood or tears, but she didn’t have time to wonder for long. Another explosion ripped the ground out from under her, and then another launched a piece of debris into her with such force that her vision went white in pain. She briefly registered a splitting rawness in her throat, and only then did she realize that she had been screaming into the unforgiving inferno that surrounded her.

A beam from the ceiling appeared out of the smoke as another explosion hurled it directly toward her. Her arms reflexively moved to protect her face, each fiber crying out in protest as she drained the last reserves of her energy, but it wasn’t fast enough. The steaming metal burnt her arms in milliseconds, and the weight of it slammed her backwards, pinning her against a slab of concrete while more debris rained down in every direction. Tiny fragments of the Citadel ricocheted off of her face, became embedded in her skin, swirled around her in a deafening roar.

She tried to hold onto her image of Liara as darkness creeped at the fringes of her consciousness. She thought of the future they’d planned together; a future she hoped Liara could someday find for herself, even if it meant finding it without her.

 _I’m sorry_ , she thought as her awareness began to fade. _I wanted to come back to you._

But sleep beckoned, tugging insistently at the edge of her mind. She knew she could only resist for so long before she would slip into its embrace.

Fire crackled around her, and the pain in her body turned into a prickling feeling of cold. She imagined herself reaching out for Liara’s hand, imagined Liara’s fingers intertwined with her own, guiding her to one last night of peaceful sleep. She smiled to herself, and took one final, labored breath.

Then there was nothing.

And then, just as suddenly, there was slightly more than nothing. Not much, at first; only the illusory feeling of Liara’s hand still clutching hers, just the way she had imagined it. Then came the pain. It struck with such violence that she could barely breathe, and pulsed rhythmically throughout her body with every heartbeat. She could feel herself squeezing at Liara’s hand, silently begging not to be alone in her final moments, even if a memory was the only thing that could keep her company.

A wave of heat washed over her next, causing her body to snap instantly into high alert, ready to protect itself against the menacing blaze. It was then that she realized she was no longer pinned by the crushing weight of debris, and she sat up far too quickly for her battered muscles to handle. She cried out in agony as she opened her eyes. Everything was a blinding shade of white, robbed of all color by the staggering pain that roared at the forefront of her awareness.

Being unable to see the danger around her was far more terrifying than knowing what was coming. Her heart raced, and she squinted into the brightness in an attempt to make out even the faintest of shapes. She expected to find the outline of a dancing flame, or a plume of smoke, but instead she thought she saw…

She blinked, squeezed her eyes shut hard, opened them again and still saw Liara. For a brief moment, she thought she had finally found her way into heaven. Then another wave of pain tore through her body, and she knew that couldn’t be true.

With her eyes shut tight against the burning ache, she felt Liara’s hand gently pull her free arm from in front of her face, and before she could process the unfamiliar gazes looking back at her when she opened her eyes, she felt Liara begin gently pulling in another way. She felt it like a voice, calling to her through the smoke and fire that still echoed in her ears and on her skin. She didn’t know if it was real, but it was all she had.

She ran to it. Felt the soothing relief of Liara shouldering her pain, if only for a few moments, and then she quickly tugged it back onto herself when she felt her struggling under its weight. She could feel Liara’s joy, and she could sense the lingering shadow of her despair.

But, without a doubt now, she knew it was real.

The world around her began to settle into focus as Liara eased her out of the meld. Doctors, medical equipment, the glaring white that had so confused her. It was clear now that she was in the hospital. It was clear that she had, somehow, been rescued from within the ruins of the Crucible. And Liara…

Her breath caught and stumbled around the lump in her throat as she took in the sight before her, eyes wide in reverent wonder. She tried to steady herself, but when the first tear slid down her face, she crumpled against Liara and felt her emotions begin to pour out of her in unbridled sobs. Fear, joy, relief, guilt, sorrow; there was no distinction between any of them now. She clutched at Liara as if afraid she may be ripped away at any moment, and it wasn’t long before she felt a second set of tears joining her own.

She wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way, locked in each other’s arms and weathering the turbulent storms of energy that flowed between them both, but eventually she found that she had no more tears left to shed. Her strength had ebbed from within her, one tear at a time, until she had none left to give. In that moment, she felt a gentle wisp of Liara’s awareness, reaching out to comfort her one more time.

She raised her head just enough to rest it against Liara’s forehead, taking in the calming blue of her eyes before closing her own and breathing deeply. When she exhaled, she could feel a smile forming at the corners of her mouth.

Then a soft touch against the tip of her nose, and the tiniest puff of breath against her lips.

And then a whisper, from the one voice she’d so desperately dreamed she would hear again.

“Welcome home, Shepard.”

Shepard opened her eyes and slid her hands up until they came to rest against the outer edges of Liara’s jaw. With her thumbs, she wiped away the trails left behind on her skin from where tears had fallen mere minutes ago. She saw her eyes flutter closed in response to her touch, her lower lip quivering as if tears were threatening to tumble out of her once more. She waited until Liara’s eyes had opened back up to meet hers and then smiled reassuringly at her.

“I’m okay,” Shepard rasped, the hoarse sound of her own voice catching her off guard for a moment. Then she shrugged, wincing only a little, and added with a playful glint in her eye, “I’ve felt worse.”

She expected a chuckle from Liara, or at least the barest hint of a smile. She got neither. Instead, she noticed Liara’s eyes leave hers to throw a subtle glance off to the right, and she followed the direction of her gaze to find the easily recognizable posture of a dear friend. The doctors involved in deep conversation with her at the moment were not quite so recognizable.

“Miranda?”

Shepard’s voice, though quiet and gravelly, conveyed her confusion instantly. Miranda waved away the strangers at her side and tried to mask her concern with a smile as she approached the side of Shepard’s bed and stood next to Liara. She took one of Shepard’s hands in between her own and let out a content sigh.

“It’s really good to see you, Shepard,” Miranda said after a moment. This time, her smile was completely genuine. “How are you feeling?”

Shepard glanced briefly over at Liara before answering; a gesture which did not go unnoticed by Miranda.

“Not too bad,” Shepard replied, her words painfully scratching their way out of her vocal cords. “I’m surprised I don’t look a lot worse, to be honest with you.”

Again, she saw Liara’s eyes flick off to the side and back again so quickly that she might not have even noticed, had it not been for the fact that Miranda’s gaze did the same. There was clearly some level of unspoken communication taking place between the two of them that Shepard was apparently not privy to, and she found this not only confusing, but upsetting. She shifted her own attention back and forth between the two of them for a few seconds, watching as their discomfort grew under her scrutiny.

And then it all clicked into place.

She could feel the blood drain from her face and her veins turn to ice as she looked around the room, finally registering each and every piece of equipment, each and every stranger in a lab coat; far too many resources for a simple hospital room recovery. She pulled her shaking hand from Miranda’s and looked down at her body for the first time. Every scar was lightly traced with the trembling touch of her fingertips, memorizing every stitch that held her together after death itself had torn her apart.

Shepard shook her head slowly, almost unconsciously, as the reality of her situation began to sink in. No one had rescued her from the Citadel; they’d simply found her broken pieces and glued them together to bring her back.

 _Again_.

“How long?” she asked, refusing to look at either of the two women standing at her bedside.

“Eight months,” Miranda answered quietly.

In the silence that followed, Shepard looked slowly around the room, at each and every face that pretended to be busy when her eyes came their way. Some appeared young, curious. Eager to work on a project that felt important. Others were older, more experienced. Shepard could easily spot the difference in rank, and she could also easily spot those who looked at her like the science experiment, the resource, the _investment_ , that she knew she was. None of the faces looking back at her were familiar, yet they’d all spent eight months of their time, in the aftermath of a devastating invasion by the reapers, devoted to the sole purpose of bringing her back to life.

_Why?_

Her eyes landed back on Liara once again, and this time it was Liara who couldn’t meet her gaze. Shepard could see those eight months when she looked at her. She could see it in the way her shoulders slumped wearily, as if they’d been encumbered with the crushing weight of grief for far too long. She could see it in the dark circles that had found their home under her eyes, from far too many nights spent lying awake, staring at the side of the bed where her bondmate should have been.

Most tellingly, she could see it in the way Liara looked at her, when she finally raised her eyes to do so. Behind the freshly welling tears, behind the unspoken apology, she could see the desperation. She could see the hesitant gratitude, held at bay by the fear that, just maybe, it was all another dream.

The thought of what Liara had been through over the past eight months, mourning her for a second time, was enough to put Shepard’s need for answers on hold. Whatever the reason for her return, she had been given another chance. If she had to sign on the dotted line somewhere for the opportunity to have a future with Liara, then so be it. As far as she was concerned, it would be worth it.

She reached her arm out to Liara and slipped it around her shoulders, pulling her in, holding her close, and ignoring the dull ache of her tired muscles. Very gently, if she paid attention, she could feel Liara’s heart beating steadily against her chest. She wondered how many times over the past eight months Liara had dreamed of this exact moment, and she squeezed her just a little bit tighter.

“I missed you so much,” Liara whispered.

“You don't have to miss me anymore,” Shepard whispered back.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Miranda motioning the others out of the room, and she smiled appreciatively as Miranda followed them out and let the door close behind them. Then she scooted over, helped Liara carefully climb up onto the bed to lay next to her, and waited patiently while she curled up against her, her head nestled comfortably on Shepard’s shoulder.

Shepard turned to lay a gentle kiss on the top of Liara’s crest, and then they both closed their eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere," Shepard said, as firmly as her voice would allow.

Even though she couldn’t see it, she could feel Liara smile, content.

And she knew then; whatever the price tag for her new life, she would gladly pay it for even just one more moment like this.


End file.
